


The Downside to Jams and Cakes

by TimeLadyoftheSith



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Dental Visits, Dentistry should never be tried at home, F/M, Just Listen to Rose, Seriously Doctor, She has your best interests at heart, Which is technically home, or in the TARDIS, tumblr stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 10:46:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18619066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimeLadyoftheSith/pseuds/TimeLadyoftheSith
Summary: The Doctor discovers that there is a side effect to him spending centuries indulging in snacks and nibbles that other Time Lords never did. Rose tries to convince him to not take matters into his own hands, and this time, she’s absolutely right.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TennantDoctor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TennantDoctor/gifts).



> LovethyTennant made a post on Tumblr and it inspired me! I hope you all enjoy
> 
> [This is the inspiration](https://lovethytennant.tumblr.com/post/181440747411/sometimes-i-like-to-pretend-its-the-doctor-that)

“Nnnnnngh,” The Doctor’s whinge, followed by a thick, sharp hiss drew Rose’s groggy attention up from her bowl of cereal. He was staring at the half peeled banana in his hand as if it had drawn a weapon on him. There was a single bite taken from the tip, and he swallowed hard. Then, hesitantly, he took another bite, the right side of his cheek pushing out, making the hairs of his sideburn ripple as he chewed once, then twice, and hummed. She looked back down, scooping up a bite of cereal, when he gave another short hiss.    
  
“You alright?” Rose looked up again, this time catching the left side of his cheek pouched out as he chewed. There was another hard swallow, and he touched a spot near the back of his jaw while glowering at the banana. “Doctor?” She dropped her spoon as he blatantly ignored her, twisted the banana in his hand, and lifted one portion of the peel to stare at the holographic sticker there.    
  
“You’re sure you got these at the Villengard stand at that market?” The Doctor sniffed the banana, tongue darting out to lick the white fruit.    
  
“Yeah, always.” Rose rubbed her eyes as the Doctor’s eyebrows huddled together in the center of his face, and she gazed on curiously as he took another bite. He chewed once on the right, then, with a loud, gummy sounding, smack, she watched him open his mouth, transfer the mush to the left side, and bite down. This time he winced noticeably, whipping around to spit the apparently offensive meal into the sink. “They spoiled or summat?”    
  
“No, it’s hurting my mouth like the time I ate one from Halfrio.” There was no mistaking the sliver of pain in his features as he massaged his jaw aside and hurled the partially eaten banana aside. “The seeds in those are little crystals, remember, hard as diamonds.” It took Rose a moment to realize the left side of his face was slightly swollen, and a glimmer of an idea came into her head. “But they look, taste, and smell like Villengardian bananas.”    
  
“I don’ think ‘s the banana, Doctor. C’mere.” Rose stood up to come around the table and pull out his chair. “Sit, go on.” Grabbing his sleeve, Rose tugged him over and pushed the Time Lord down. Ignoring the confused question he was opening his mouth to ask, Rose grabbed his chin softly and held out her left hand. “Sonic.” There was a ruffle of cloth, and the thin metal tube dropped into her palm.    
  
“Wah ah oo ooin?” The Doctor asked, as Rose tugged his chin down, activating the program that made the sonic function as a penlight. “Othe? Wah-“ His breath broke over her face as Rose leaned in closer, scented with his breakfast tea and banana. She envied the Doctor that he never had bad breath, never, even after four days in a jungle lost in a rainstorm.   
  
“Shush.” Squinting, she shone the light into his mouth. “Wider, ‘nd move your tongue to the right.” There was a displeased noise, but the Doctor obeyed, and Rose blew out a breath of her own as she saw the problem. There, placed dead center in one of his molars, taking up a section white indent, was a blackish spot that was unmistakable. Oh, this was absolutely rich, so much so that she giggled as she released his chin and straightened up. “Doctor, you’ve got a cavity.”   
  
“What?! Impossible!” The Doctor yanked his sonic back, surging up from the chair. “Time Lords don’t get cavities?! That’s absurd!” Rose crossed her arms as he dissolved into the affect of a peacock who’d just been told his tail feathers weren’t glorious. “My teeth may not be perfectly straight, but I assure you, they are in perfect health! You are wrong, Rose-“ She silenced him by sticking her finger into his mouth and pressing firmly on the tooth. “Owwwww!” He howled, stumbling back and batting her hand away.    
  
“Cavity, definitely.” Rose wiped her finger on her jeans, snickering as he began digging in his coat. In a few short seconds, one of her compacts was ripped out of the abyss of his pockets, and he was staring into it with his mouth wide. “Told ya, cavity! ‘S what you get for eaten all that jam ‘nd cakes.” He shot her a look that would make a Dalek cower, but Rose just giggled. The Doctor, Mr. I’m-so-superior had a cavity. “I’m sure you’ve got somethin’ in the infirmary for it.” The glower disappeared into a storm of determination.    
  
“I never learned dentistry, but it can’t be that hard right?” In a flash, he was sprinting from the galley.    
  
“Oh, I’ve got to see this.” Her bowl of cereal forgotten, Rose gave chase. This was definitely going to be good, but still, she knew she should probably try to dissuade him from attempting this on his own. Skidding into the infirmary, Rose leaned against the wall and watched as he began yanking supplies out of cabinets. “We could just go to a dentist. I don’t think tryin’ ta drill and fill your own tooth is all that safe.”    
  
“Rubbish. It’ll be easy.” He dashed from the room, and before Rose could move, he was back with a hulking volume. Even from this distance, she could see it was a book on dentistry. “Okay, I’ll need anesthetic, topical and injected, a mirror, a small drill, some dental porcelain, a water squirter thingy, and a small vacuum. Easy!” The book snapped shut, and Rose pushed away from the wall to hop up on one of the beds as the Doctor began piling everything on a tray.     
  
“I know this great dentist. He did my crown when I cracked my tooth on the coin in the Christmas pudding when I was eighteen.” Rose  shook her head as the Doctor squeezed a copious amount of some purple cream from a tube that was probably some eightieth century anesthetic onto a swab and began rubbing it in his mouth. “I think you’re supposed ta sorta let it sit first.”    
  
“Nonsense. Thee alwetty numb.” He flapped his hand at her, tossed the swab aside, and grabbed a syringe. Rose winced as he opened his mouth wide and stuck it in. He made a high pitched keen, as his eyebrows narrowed, but he didn’t stop. After a moment, he tossed it aside, turned, and flashed her lopsided grin. “Thee eathy peethy. Now huth.”   
  
Rose wasn’t squeamish anymore, but as the drill began inching towards the Doctor’s mouth. She had to cover her eyes. Just the sound of it on his tooth made her jaw clench and her spine tingle uncomfortably. It didn’t help that he’d been making odd noises that she knew was him trying to hide pain the entire time. She didn’t dare speak, because she did not want to be the reason he accidentally drilled his tongue.    
  
Ten minutes later, the Doctor was examining his handy work in the mirror. “Aha! See, I told you Rose! Easy peasy!” The Doctor opened his mouth wide for her inspection, and Rose peeked in to find the cavity seemingly to have disappeared. Although, when she squinted, she saw the slightly lighter shade of the porcelain filling. “Still a bit sore, but that’ll pass once my body flushes out the inflammation. Now! Let’s go get some more bananas. I’m feeling like a trip to Villengard!”    
  
Rose laughed as he tugged her by the hand from her perch, but as they hurried to the console room, she couldn’t help but feel like this fiasco wasn’t quite finished yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone knows LoveThyTennant’s Ao3 handle,  
> Could you please comment it so I can gift it


	2. Chapter 2

“Doctor, what the hell’re you doin’?” Rose blinked as she found the Time Lord in her bathroom, swishing her mouth wash around. He jerked, whipping around as she paused in her pajamas. His cheeks poofed out, looking all too much like a greedy chipmunk. She blinked as he tried to hide the bottle behind his back, and his eyebrows flew up with all the horror of a teenager caught sneaking their dad’s porn magazines. “If you try to speak ‘nd spit on me, I’ll slap you!”    
  
The Doctor turned to the sink, spitting out the foamy liquid, and promptly wiped his face. Setting the bottle side, he offered a sheepish smile. “Erm, I, well...I know this is how humans get rid of bad breath.” Rose snorted against her will, unable to believe that he jactually suffered from bad breath. “Rose, it’s not funny!” It was at his slightly higher octave that she noticed he wasn’t fully opening his mouth. In fact, the left side of his face stayed relatively unmoved.    
  
“Doctor, somethin’ wrong with your face?”    
  
“No!” Immediately, his hand flew to his left cheek, and it sparked a week old memory in her mind. “There’s nothing wrong with my tooth! It’s fine!”    
  
“I didn’t say tooth! C’mere.” Grabbing his tie, Rose tugged the Doctor down. “Open, now!” His mouth snapped shut, and he shook his head vehemently. “Doctor, open!” With a huff, he opened his mouth, and Rose got a shock. Under the fresh bubblemint scent of the mouthwash was a slight, barely noticeable, whiff of what could only be described as morning breath. “Sonic...” sighing in exasperation, she held out her hand, and once she had the screwdriver in her fingers, she shone the light in. Where the cavity, and then filling, had been was a larger hole. “Did your filling fall out?! Don’t answer that. It did! How long ago?”    
  
“Yesterday when that guard punched me.” The Doctor sniffed, pull away from her and pouting. Rose rolled her eyes. “Honestly, it isn’t that bad. I’m trying to find something to heal it. I saw this article on the galacticnet about-“    
  
“You’re goin’ to the dentist.” Rose spun on her heel, making a beeline for her mobile. “‘M callin’ Mum to get that dentists name. You’re gettin’ this fixed, now!”    
  
“But Rooooooose.” She heard the Doctor following after her, whining like she’d just told him she wasn’t making him dessert with dinner. “It doesn’t hurt that bad! I’ll find-“ she was already dialing the number. “I don’t want to see a twenty-first century dentist! The last time I had a run in with Earth medicine, they almost killed me! Well, technically they did, and I regenerated, but it still stands!”    
  
“Rose, hi! How’s Paris?!” The typical greeting that meant Jackie had guests came over the line.   
  
“Great, but we’re comin’ back soon. The Doctor’s havin’ an issue.” At her mum’s shocked noise, and the Doctor’s grunt of disapproval as he flopped on her bed and glowered at her made Rose roll her eyes. Honestly, he looked way too adorable when he pouted like that. “Listen, can you text me the name and number of that dentist I saw?”    
  
“Why in the world do you need that? Your crown break?” The noises in the background indicated her mum was walking into the kitchen and rummaging around.    
  
“No, the Doctor has a bad cavity, ‘nd believe it or not, he doesn’ know how ta do dental work.”    
  
“Rose!!!” Came the petulant whine from her bed.   
  
“Seriously? I thought he was all superior ‘nd such.” Her mum sounded entirely too amused. Honestly, Rose couldn’t blame her. She’d never seen the Doctor look so downright fussed. “I found it. ‘Ll text it to you now. Tell himself he better bring you by!”   
  
“I will. Thanks! Talk to ya soon!” Rose rounded on the alien currently trying to melt her with a stare. “You’re goin’, ‘nd there’s no arguin’ about it!”    
  
“But what would a human dentist know about Time Lord biology!” The Doctor jumped up, crossing his arms as he towered over her. “I can fix this myself!” His hair jostled as he made to turn, but Rose grabbed his arm.    
  
“No, you tried once already, ‘nd you only made it worse. Doctor, ‘s probably infected. You’re going!” Her mobile dinged, and Rose looked down to click on the number in the text.   
  
“I don’t wanna go! I don’t need to go! There’s plenty of research I can look into!”    
  
“Bright Smiles, this is Amanda.”   
  
Rose snagged the Doctor’s tie as he tried to flee the room again, holding him in place. “Hi Amanda. I’m calling to make an appointment for my-“ She fumbled for a moment, remembering how her mum hadn’t been able to make the appointment for her due to privacy laws. “Husband, John Tyler.” The Doctor gave a disgruntled noise, wriggling against her, so Rose twisted the tie once to yank him back. “He had a filling fall out, ‘nd we wanna get it fixed.”    
  
“No problem. We actually have an appointment tomorrow, May second, at one thirty available. Will that work?” Amanda spoke over the sound of keyboards clicking.    
  
“Perfect, thanks. We’ll see you then.” Rose tossed her mobile aside, and released the Doctor who was beginning to attempt to slide his head down and out of the tie. “Appointment scheduled. May second, one thirty.”    
  
The Doctor brightened up as he adjusted his collar. “Great that gives me a whole day to-“    
  
“We live in a time machine, Doctor. We’re goin’ now!” Rose shook her head as she cut him off. “Now, go land us in the usual spot near my mum’s for twelve-thirty, so we have time to get there.” She shoved him lightly towards the door, even as the Doctor began to protest again.    
  
Four hours and seven minutes later, Rose grinned up at Doctor Murray as he handed the Doctor a white plastic bag containing a new tooth brush, a sample size bottle of mouthwash, and a small tube of generic toothpaste. “Now, Doctor Tyler. Make sure you start flossing better, or I’ll be seeing you again soon!”    
  
“He will!” Rose giggled as the Doctor kept prodding his numb cheek, and she reached up to wipe a spot of drool off his pouty lower lip. “Come on, husband. Mum’s expectin’ us for dinner.”    
  
“Tat was torthure. I don’ know how you humanth do it.” The Doctor slurred through his unmoving lips, as she led him out of the office and into the afternoon drizzle. Rose rolled her eyes, slipping her fingers into his and squeezing. ”You’re a cwuel woman, Wose Tywer.”    
  
“I only did it because I love you, you daft alien.” Pressing up on her toes, she kissed his right cheek softly, then pulled back as she realized what she’d said. Rose was pleased to note the Doctor had flushed an adorable pink and paused to look down at her with wide eyes.    
  
“Yeah?” The look of shocked surprise was ruined when the left side of the Doctor’s smile didn’t mirror the right. His fingers tightened in hers, and Rose nodded sheepishly. “Worf it den. So worf it!” His arms went around her waist, pulling her tightly to his side, and Rose felt her own cheeks burn at his wild giggle. “I’d kith you, but I can’ feew my wipth.”    
  
“Well, ‘s a thirty minute walk to the TARDIS. It should be back to normal by then.” Her hearts soared as the Doctor’s eyes went wild.   
  
  
“TARDITH hath thuff to neutrawize it.” She knew what was coming before he released her to take her hand. “WUN!” It was only twenty minutes to sprint to the TARDIS, and by the time they reached the blue doors, the Doctor’s mouth was back to normal, and Rose eagerly welcomed it when he pushed her against the wood and repaid her concern for his wellbeing quite thoroughly.   
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
